I'm Just A Jealous Guy
by chellyme1017
Summary: Draco can't fess up to his love for Hermione. Harry is losing the love of his life to a pale boy with black dreadlocks. Ron and Lavender are expecting parents. Parkinson is a high end fashion designer. And Nott is a brooding man with a secret. R&R.
1. Make the Yultide Gay

Draco Malfoy stood in the Burrow's kitchen with a shocked expression on his face while his best friend, Blaise Zambini, sat dejectedly with his head in his hands groaning in frustration

**Summary: After the war a new circle of friends is formed consisting of Hermione Granger, Ron and Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zambini, and Theodore Nott. With prejudices put aside friendships, respect, trust, and love is able to bloom. What happens when Draco and Hermione are destined to be together but someone is incapable of saying those three words while the other gives up and tries to move on? What happens when the perfect relationship between Harry and Ginny falls apart due to lost love and an outsider's help? What happens when a mother and father to be go through the worst pain imaginable? And what happens when death takes a toll unexpectantly. I promise you will find all of this out within this story as the chapters are revealed. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter, just my imagination and Terrence.**

**XXX**

_I wanna see christmas through your eyes  
I want everything to be the way it used to be  
Back to being a child again thinking the world was mine  
I wanna see christmas, christmas through your eyes_

_I see the rain, you see the rainbow hiding in the clouds  
Never afraid to let your love show  
Won't you show me how  
Wanna learn how to believe again  
Find the innocence in me again  
Through your young heart  
Help me find a way, help me try._

Christmas Through Your Eyes -Gloria Estefan

**XXX**

Draco Malfoy stood in the Burrow's kitchen with a shocked expression on his face while his best friend, Blaise Zambini, sat dejectedly with his head in his hands groaning in frustration.

"Forgive me, but I don't think I quite understood you," Draco managed to choke out.

"I love Ginny Weasley," Blaise repeated for the third time growing more and more aggravated as his teal colored eyes fell on his friend's grey ones.

Draco had no idea how he was supposed to react. It had been three years since the second war had ended. With the help of his Slytherin friends and his mother Draco was able to hand over information on his father to the order resulting in Lucius' imprisonment in Azkaban. Draco, a changed man at heart, was then able to focus on restoring his family's name by donating to charities and helping the effort to restore the damages at Hogwarts. When him and the rest of his seventh year class returned to Hogwarts to finish the rest of their education him and his friends were welcomed into a new group of friends. With houses banished and prejudices put aside Draco Malfoy and his pureblooded friends were welcomed in by the golden trio. Although it was awkward at first and at times rather tense everyone was able to see that not everyone was whom they assumed them to be. Since then on out, Christmas and other gatherings at the Burrow were typical for Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zambini, Theodore Nott, and Pansy Parkinson. But if someone would have told him about this 5 years ago he would seriously think that person was on crack. Now, however, he didn't think life could get any better. He had a supportive mother, loving friends, and hopefully the undivided attention of a certain brunette in the adjoining room.

Draco was brought to the present as he caught Blaise's expectant eyes. "Well, we all love Ginny," he said taking a seat next to the pale dreadlocked boy.

"You don't get it man," Blaise said shaking laughing at his own turmoil, "I am in love with Ginny. She is the girl of my dreams."

Draco nodded having known what he meant, "I knew you had a crush on her since what…the fifth year, but I didn't know your feelings went so deep."

"I know!" Blaise said animatedly scooting back his seat and rising to his feet with a grin on his face, "I just- we spend so much time together now- what with us being on the Quidditch team together…and she is so smart, beautiful, strong willed, and feisty. She is perfect, Draco. Ginny Weasley is the best thing that ever happened to me!"

"Shh!!" Draco said rising and placing a silencing charm on his friend to shut him up. "Look man, I am happy that you are in love but you can't go professing this to the world. She is with Harry. Think of what he'd do to you if he found out you had harbored romantic feelings for his girlfriend of 4 years."

Blaise gave a defeated look and sat back down while Draco removed the silencing charm. "I just…I know she feels the same way about me, and there is nothing we can do. It kills me that I know I can't have her, and it only makes me want her more," Blaise said softly.

"She told you this?"

"No, but you can see it in her eyes," he replied placing his head back in his hands, "And the chemistry is amazing."

Harry Potter turned away from his spot in the doorway not able to hear another word of Blaise's professed love for his girlfriend. He had been sent in from the others to collect the boys for presents when he over heard the two former Slytherin boys talking. He had nothing wrong with them and the other Slytherins that were now apart of his circle. He had been able to put aside his differences and accept them for who they were and not for whom their parents had brainwashed them to be. He walked quietly back to the living room distant from the noises that were surrounding him. He and Ginny her were in a four year relationship. They had gotten together right after the war. Harry loved her; he always had in a way and only took so long to be with her because he didn't want her to be in pain in case something happened to him negatively. They were perfect for each other, or at least they had been. With Ginny's new position on the Puddlemore United they hardly saw each other. Harry knew that the red head would never cheat on him, but was it possible that she had fallen out of love with him? And worse did he care? He loved Ginny, but maybe he wasn't indeed in love with her like Blaise claimed to be.

"Where are the boys?"

Harry looked up to see everyone staring up at him questioningly. He figured that his demeanor was not the best it should be. He felt weak to the core, numb in every aspect. Maybe Ginny did love Blaise. He had proposed to her on their third year anniversary, and while she claimed to be happy she declined his offer reasoning that she wasn't going to be home that much, and a family life would not be for awhile until she was able to actually settle down. Harry understood, but now questioned whether she had been truthfully honest.

Ginny was looking up at him worriedly. She was wearing her Quidditch sweats and her hair was up in a pony tail. She smiled at him as he made eye contact with her deep blue eyes. He knew why he had fallen in love with her. She was so down to earth, and although very strong willed she was the kindest hearted person he had ever had the grace of knowing. She turned her head to the side as Lavender Brown asked her a question. Lavender and Ron had been married for almost two years now, and were expecting their first child, Angelica. She was in her seventh month and was always seen glowing and caressing her swollen belly. Ron was sitting next to her, one arm draped around her shoulders and sipping on a glass of fire whiskey. He had grown up over the past years, now at the full height of six feet and five inches. Since his brother, Fred, passed away during the war he had been working with his other brother, George, at the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. He was discussing what only appeared to be Quidditch with the brown haired former Slytherin, Theodore Nott. Nott had been the easiest one to accept into their circle. He had never been one to make fun and threaten others in the halls. Really he was quite like Hermione in a way. He was always working and reading, discussing matters of politics and the latest news from the ministry…though every once in awhile he did indulge in a friendly Quidditch conversation.

"You okay, Harry?"

Harry glanced by the fire place where Hermione was sitting and smiled at the picture. She too had grown up. She was still short as can be standing at only five feet and two inches, but she made up for it in other departments. Instead of frizz everywhere, her hair sprung with soft tight ringlets that she always had pushed back by a head band; today's color, red and green to go along with the festivities. She had curves and was not afraid to show them like she was back in Hogwarts. She was wearing a cream colored lace dress that came down to her mid thigh, black heels, and a strand of pearls around her neck. She was glowing, she always was. She was a Healer in the children's ward at St. Mungos and was always filled with stories about what happened at work that day. Right now she was sipping on her champagne flute and rising from her seat on the ledge. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry replied his mind returning to the matter at hand with his girl friend, "Er- I need to use the bathroom. Get Draco and Bl-Blaise from the kitchen for me?"

Hermione nodded while she watched her friend hurry off upstairs. She figured there was something going on but decided not to press the issue. Harry always had his own way of handling his problems. And while bottling up them was not the healthiest manner she knew that he would not talk until he was ready. It would be an ongoing struggle to force him to tell her what was going on. Brooding Harry Potter. What was new? She told the others that she'd be right back and walked down through the hall and into the kitchen clearing her throat to acknowledge her presence.

"We are about to do presents," She stated wondering what they had been talking about. They both were hunched over and whispering seriously amongst each other. Blaise looked up at her first smiling at what he saw.

"Hermione you get prettier every day," He said charmingly getting up from his seat.

"Thank you, Blaise, but you already used that line when you first arrived," Hermione said smiling back at him.

"Ah…well I can't quit now," he said walking over and placing a chaste and friendly kiss on her cheek. "Has Pansy arrived yet?"

"No, she flooed saying that she should be over shortly however. Her excuse was that Fashion never sleeps…nor does it go on holidays," She replied watching him leave.

She was quite charmed by Blaise Zambini. It was quite safe to say that he was the play boy of the group. He always was with another girl every time she saw him, and was quite surprised that he had come to the Burrow stag for the holidays. He was not bad looking either. He was a pale boy, with dreadlocks that rested at his mid back. He was always wearing the latest fashion thanks to Pansy. He had refused to give up his dreads even though Pansy had told him that they looked trashy. So instead she told him that she would work with what he had and always came home with the latest trends from Armani, Dolce and Gabbana, and Gucci (the wizarding trends of course).

"You do look quite ravishing this evening, Hermione," Draco said causing her to blush slightly and look over at the blonde. Draco Malfoy was definitely a sight for sore eyes. He was a complete foot taller than her and had a very toned body. He didn't work, but instead spent his time working with charities and fund raisers. Why work when you have enough money to last you ten life times? He was an extremely different person than he was when they were all back in Hogwarts, before the second war took place, but she couldn't hold that against him. She could reason that he could have easily thought for himself instead of for his father and the other death eaters, but that was a death sentence waiting to happen. Harry, Ron, and she had been able to see that…Ron obviously holding more of a grudge, but it was quite refreshing to see his true personality as well as their other newly acquainted friends.

"And I am sure you'd love nothing more than to ravish me, right?" She replied as he walked closer to her and backed her against the wall.

"You know me too well, Mione," Draco purred with his ever famous smirk that always made Hermione's heart race when it was directed at her. He leaned his head lower as he slowly closed his eyes and Hermione placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back.

"And you obviously don't know me well enough to know that I am already spoken for," Hermione said regretfully.

"Oh come on, that muggle?" Draco said annoyingly. It was obvious that the Hermione and he still had feelings for one another. It had started at Lavender and Ron's wedding. Alcohol consumption was involved, but if Hermione was being truthful to herself she knew that that had nothing to do with what activities they had participated in together. And after that night everything was so clear for them. They spent all their time together and it was as if a new chapter in their lives was being written. It ended eventually, like all good things do but that didn't mean that their feelings for each other died out. They were never really official, just shacking together. They never talked about their feelings. They were never officially together. They kept this going for awhile until Hermione couldn't wait any longer for him to grow up and decided she had to move on. It was hard, and even though she was dating someone else that didn't mean she cared for Draco any less. In fact, she loved him with all her heart.

"I thought you were passed all those prejudices?" She asked with a quirked eyebrow and her arms folded arcos her chest.

Draco sighed, "I am. I am. You know I am." He had no idea why he didn't take her while she was his to take. He was frightened really, that she would see him in a different light. That she'd see him and think that he was not who she thought he was. He was scared that their past would get in the way of an actual committed relationship. It was his fault that she had given up on him and moved on. He knew this. But at the same time he couldn't not get angry and jealous every time she was seen with what's his face…Marcus? "I just don't think you are truly happy with Marcus," he said leaning closer to her again.

"It's Terrence, and I am quite happy thank-you-very-much," Hermione replied already fed up with Draco's accusations. "He is the perfect gentleman."

Draco laughed sarcastically. "The perfect gentleman? You mean when he ruined your birthday party and claimed he was merely working late hours?"

"He did not ruin my birthday, and he was indeed working late hours!" she huffed fed up with Draco at the moment. She recalled her twenty-first birthday where he promised that he'd make it out of the office early and instead didn't show up at all. She had her speculations. And sure she thought he was cheating on her, but how could she admit this to others? How could she admit that Draco was right? She had spent the entire night crying, ignoring everyone at the party.

He flushed his body onto her petite one and whispered in her ear, "Fine... but I bet he doesn't get your blood going like I do, huh?"

Hermione bit her lip and as much as it felt amazing to have him so close, she pushed him away and glared at him, "You disgust me."

"Fine. I see you are still in denial," Draco said rolling his eyes.

"And I see that you are still jealous," Hermione replied side stepping his embrace; "You had your chance and failed miserably at it. Now if you could just leave me be." And with that she walked back into the living room where everyone was greeting Pansy Parkinson's arrival.

Draco sighed as he leaned up against the wall watching Hermione leave the kitchen. He found it rather revolting to see her with someone rather than himself. He had no idea what love was, but he knew what he felt for Hermione was real and unwavering. If he knew what love was then maybe…just maybe he'd be able to figure out if that was really what he was feeling. And the worst about all of this was that he knew that Hermione was not over him to say the least. He could tell by the way she looked at him that she still had feelings just like Blaise could tell that Ginny liked him. He knew that she was bored with Marcus or whatever he called himself. He was dull and simple while Hermione deserved fun and adventurous... and all the qualities that Draco had to offer. He felt foolish for letting her slip out of his fingers. She had been waiting and he couldn't get the courage up to make things official because Draco didn't do official. Hermione wanted a family. She wanted a relationship that would last and progress. She wanted to be committed to one person for the rest of her life. Draco was completely and utterly scared of committed relationships...he was scared of relationships in general. But he wanted Hermione, and now it seemed as if he was a bit too late to continue wanting her.

"Malfoy!! Get in here and wish me a happy Christmas."

Draco groaned as he pushed himself off of the wall hearing Pansy's demands. Pansy Parkinson changed the least out of all the former Slytherins. Her prejudices were pushed aside but not her bitchiness and she was still the same gorgeous woman that she had been in Hogwarts. Draco rounded the corner and placed a smile as he took in her five feet eight inches. Her sleek black hair hung to the small of her back and her eyes shone brightly even though they were as dark as night. She was wearing a black pencil shirt with a billowing white blouse and black pumps. Pansy was always dressed professionally and it suited her well. He hugged his childhood friend tightly and caught Hermione's eye as she peered over her champagne flute. Although Pansy was breathtakingly gorgeous she was no Hermione Granger. Hermione was the epitome of perfection.

All head turned in the direction of the fireplace as the bell ran signaling someone coming through the floo network. After a few seconds of silence a figure was thrown into the Burrow covered in soot, landing with a thud as he made contact with the ground.

"Terence!" Hermione yelped as she fell to her nears by her boyfriend's side. Draco rolled his eyes and sneered down at the boys while the others looked around disinterested. Everyone knew that Hermione and Draco belonged together even though they did find in rather unfair that Draco was keeping her on the side lines all this time. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," the sandy haired man said groaning a bit has he rubbed his bum. He shook his head and sighed, "I'll get used to it one of these days."

"Fat chance. Your a muggle...you aren't even supposed to be traveling like that," Draco muttered while Hermione shot him and annoyed glare. Huffing, Draco turned and went to fill his glass with fire whiskey.

As Hermione was helping Terrence to his feet Mrs. Weasley came down the steps hurriedly with worry on her face. "What was that? Is everything alright?" She looked about the room and smiled when she saw that everyone was present and safe. She frowned though noting that Harry was missing. "Where's Har-?"

"I'm right here, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said as he walked back into the room, a look on his face stating as though he just sold his soul to the devil.

"Oh good. Well you guys have fun, and nobody is leaving this house. It is not safe to apparate under the influence and we have plenty of rooms to spare. I will see you all in the AM," and with that Mrs. Weasley left the group and retired back up the stairs to her bedroom.

"Can we open presents already?!" Blaise whined earning a giggle from Ginny and a deathly glare from Harry.

**XXX**

_Spin that bottle  
Play my game  
Come on over here  
'Cos I called your name_

_Shivers are runnin' right down my spin  
You give me pleasure  
There's no words to define  
There's no need for confusion  
Here's my solution  
Let's do what we like  
I've got the patience  
Honey, if you've got the time_

Spin The Bottle-Rachel Stevens

**XXX**

Presents took well over an hour as they were handed out, unwrapped, appreciated, tested, and thanked for. It was nearly one in the morning when the group all sat back content, and in a drunken bliss.

"Let's play a game of spin the bottle!" Pansy suggested.

There was a mixed reaction amongst the crowd.

"What about those that are involved?" Hermione asked placing her empty flute on the floor next to her.

"Oh come on, Mione. I think all of us are mature enough for this type of thing," Draco challeneged as he leaned closer to her.

"Yeah, babe. There is nothing wrong with it. i know you will always love me no matter whose lock you lip with tonight...I mean..." Terrence stopped giggling as his words were twisted in his mouth.

"I think it is a fun idea," Lavender chirped in, "You have fun Ronnikins, but I think I am going to go to bed. Angelica and I are growing rapidly tired."

Ron kissed his wife good night and turned back to his friends, "I'm in."

"So we all agree that we can be mature about this?" Ginny asked animatedly excited for the game about to be played. She glanced over at Blaise before she turned to her boyfriend. Harry saw her fleeting glance at Blaise but ignored it. Ignorance was bliss after all.

The nine friends nodded their head and formed a circle amongst themselves, Pansy giddily transfiguring a Quidditch magazine into a glass bottle. "Who goes first?"

"ME!" Ginny took the bottle and spun it, Blaise and Harry both watching it intently hoping it landed on them. It didn't however. It landed on Theodore Nott who smiled charmingly and leaned over to kiss the red head leaving both raven haired boys looking rejected. Theodore took the bottle and spun it...around and around and around. Pansy smirked when it landed on her and kissed him lightly before taking her own turn. It landed on Hermione. Both girls' smiles vanished and looked at each other. They sat there for a few seconds...

"Oh come on already and kiss!" Blaise belted nodding Hermione who was sitting next to him.

Hermione and Pansy leaned in and locked lips for a few seconds resulting in cheers from the crowd.

"Good god that was hot, Hermione," Terrence whispered though was loud enough for the others to hear.

While Hermione blushed Draco rolled his eyes. "Typical," He mumbled but loud enough for everyone to hear, "Mione it is your turn. Spin or I will spin for you."

Hermione frowned at him and spun the bottle rather roughly. Everyone's eyes locked on the bottle waiting for it to stop, Draco more intently than everyone else. He looked shocked when it landed on him. Hermione cleared her throat but did not advance ignoring the pushes coming from her boyfriend. Oh if only he knew. Draco looked at her hesitantly. He would totally understand if she didn't want to kiss him. Everyone around them were smiling with knowing glances. Finally, after what felt like hours Hermione's and Draco's lips met and while it only lasted shortly time seemed to stand still for the both of them. As soon as the fluttering in Hermione's stomach started going out of control she pulled away and sat back down confusion written on her face. Draco's held more reserve as he spun the bottle without a word.

It landed on Hermione.

Terrence laughed, "Get it over with."

Nobody else said a word as they hoped that this would be the turning point in their nonexistent relationship.

The pair's lips met once again this time lingering at the taste of each other's mouths. It took an awkward cough from Blaise to break them apart. He caught Hermione's eye and glanced over at Terrance. The boy had fallen asleep and was now leaning on the side of the couch. Hermione knew that she should probably take him up to bed, but she couldn't bring herself to it. She knew she still had feelings for Draco but she had thought them to merely be regret fr the past...waiting so long. She wasn't sure but she felt as if she were 19 again...the age where she got to know the true Malfoy, the Malfoy that had stolen her heart. Was it possible that after everything that happened- or rather didn't happen...he still had it? Yes, she knew he still did.

"Your spin, Hermione...unless you need to take him upstairs," Ginny said softly while the others were watching her expression quite carefully.

Making up her mind she turned back to the circle and spun the bottle once again, a gasp was heard when the bottle's nozzle stopped pointing directly at the shocked Draco Malfoy once again.

"You need to use tongue this time!" Ginny squealed. Ron, Harry, Blaise, Pansy, Theo, and Ginny watched as the two met half way in the circle and kissed for the third time that night...more passion evident as they hungrily sought out each other's tongues. No one made a move to stop them. While Terrence was a nice guy and rather cool for a muggle they knew that he never had Hermione's heart, nor did he deserve it. And by not waking him up and not stopping their kiss it was their way to play matchmaker and prove that everyone saw they were made for each other.

The kiss however did stop when Hermione's name was muttered by her unconscious sandy haired boyfriend.

**I hope you all enjoyed it. Leave me reviews and suggestions. I pretty much know what's going to happen but I'd love to hear everyone's insight. And I am going to try to do a poll question after each chapter.**

**Who thinks Harry should confront Blaise about his feelings toward Ginny?**

**Love, Chelsea.**


	2. The Morning After

Disclaimer: I don't own anything HP

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything HP**

**Thanks for those who reviewed and added my story to their favorites. I hope this chapter is as enjoyable as the first one was.**

**XXX**

_Yours is the first face that I saw  
I think I was blind before I met you  
Now I don't know where I am  
I don't know where I've been  
But I know where I want to go_

_And so I thought I'd let you know  
That these things take forever  
I especially am slow  
But I realize that I need you  
And I wondered if I could come home_

First Day Of My Life -Bright Eyes

**XXX**

Draco had stayed up all night unable to fall asleep after what had occurred the night before. It was obvious that he was nursing a broken heart as he sat outside watching the sun rise. He felt pathetic for ever caring about someone like Hermione. He knew the feelings were too sudden happening only a couple months after he was accepted into their group. But it was unavoidable. Being able to finally let go of the importance of blood status he realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She was a know it all, but it meant that she was intelligent. She had bushy hair that resembled an afro, but it changed drastically. She was able to control it and style it and even if she wasn't able he knew that she would be gorgeous anyways…he knew she already was back at Hogwarts but he had a tainted vision back then. His regrettable hatred for the muggle born tainted her and her beauty, and he would never be able to truly forgive himself for it, even though she was able to three years ago. She was forgiving, loving, loyal, and courageous up the ass. She was stubborn and hard headed and he loved the way her cheeks flushed and her lips formed themselves into a scowl whenever she got angry. She was ambitious and always wanted to do things herself. This meant that she would never be dependent off of anyone, and seeing this trait in a girl was so new to him…he was used to the clingy type that was only with him for the security that he and his money provided. Hermione had a great head on her shoulder, she had a good job, and would one day make a wonderful wife and mother.

Draco blinked rapidly as to get a grasp on reality. He was incapable to tell her how he truly felt about her and yet here he was rocking on the tire swing that was knotted onto the large oak tree and imagining her and his wife…living at the manor with a swollen belly and happiness in her eyes. He sighed knowing that he had shot his shot with Hermione to hell. But could she really be happy with Terrence? Yes, he knew the muggle's name. It just seemed irrelevant to have to know it. He wasn't going to last or at least Draco hoped so. He bought his finger tips to his lips remembering how it felt to have Hermione's lips against his once again. It seemed so much more than a 'spin-the-bottle' kiss. It felt as if she was telling him something, telling him that maybe all hope was not lost…not yet at least. But maybe he was reading too into it. It was mandatory that they kissed. And during that third one he was sure there was a spark, and he was so elated at the fact that she didn't want to let go. He wanted to hold her all night long. He wanted to claim her as his finally. But then Terrence had to ruin it.

Stupid, ignorant, bloody Terrence. Couldn't he see that Draco and Hermione had something? Everyone else could. Hermione was in denial, but Draco knew that somewhere deep inside of her she had not given up. He just had to keep trying in order to resurface those feelings. It seemed that last night was a good start. It would have been better if she ignored the muggle and continued snogging Draco, but she didn't. When she heard her name she had pulled back, shock straining across her face. She didn't say a word as she hurried and levitated Terrence and then disappeared upstairs. Draco hated the glances full of pity that his friends were giving him. He had mumbled something incoherent and left out the back door. No one followed they knew better, and soon everyone had retired for the night.

"Draco?"

The soft timid voice startled Draco and he turned his head to the side seeing Hermione standing on the porch. She was wearing a yellow and brown polka dot nightie that stopped at her mid thigh with a silk white robe over top it. Her hair was sticking out in different directions. Draco made a mental note that bed head suited her perfectly before smiling and waving her over.

"You're up early," She simply stated as she stopped next to the tire swing and glancing up and the pink sky.

"I didn't sleep," Draco replied noting the pensiveness demeanor she held.

"I figured as much." She turned her head slightly and glanced down at him. "I came out here to apologize…for last night."

Draco could feel his heart sag into his chest as he took a deep breath. He knew she would regret kissing him and yet he thought about himself last night. He did not ask to make sure if it was what she wanted. He had taken advantage of the situation and kissed the love of his life just like he was supposed to do after almost a year of not kissing her. "You don't have to apologize."

"No," She said firmly, "I don't exactly know what we were back then but we're not like that anymore. And I shouldn't have kissed you because I knew it would lead to misconceptions, and I was right."

"Hermione," Draco said getting of the swing and standing in front of her, "It doesn't have to be like this you know."

Hermione tensed as his hand caressed her cheek like it had done so many times before. She closed her eyes for a second before opening them. "I'm sorry, Draco." She took a step back but Draco held onto her arms.

"You can't honestly say you didn't feel anything for me when we kissed last night," he whispered, his grey eyes pleading with her chocolate brown ones. He brought her hands to his face. He had to have her touching him.

"It was a game, Draco," she whispered back, her voice deceiving her. She wanted to believe she felt something. No, she knew she did, but admitting it would only complicate things. She didn't want Draco in more pain than he already was. She didn't want to go back to the way things used to be. She wanted to be his exclusively, and she didn't think Draco was ready for that. She didn't think he would ever be.

"It was a game up until we kissed, Hermione," Draco said placing her right hand on his heart. "Can you feel it, Hermione? It goes erratic whenever I am near you."

Hermione's eyes welled with tears. She knew she loved the man who stood before her, the man whose heart was beating irregularly fast. "What are you trying to say?"

"You don't have to be with Terrence."

"I know…I chose to be with him," She said unable to stop the silent tears as they cascaded down her cheeks.

"You can be with me, Hermione." He stopped as she shook her head back and forth. "We can be together." His eyes rimmed red as he felt his own tears about to fall. But he held on to them. He was not going to cry. He didn't cry.

"You know what I want, Draco. You know what I want to hear," She said looking up at him, her knees weak at the thought of them being together.

"I want you, Mione. I want you back."

Hermione looked up at the sky trying to fight the tears. She looked back at him. She knew he knew what she wanted to hear. "You never had me, Draco. You only thought you did. Tell me what I want to hear," She pleaded grasping on to the material of his shirt where his heart was. She didn't want to let go…ever.

Draco knew she wanted those three words. He knew that she wanted a real relationship. He wanted that. But why was he having such a terrible time finding the words to tell her? He had driven himself crazy not being able to touch her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her. Seeing her with someone else broke his heart, and he knew in a way it broke hers too.

"I…," He licked his lips, he didn't want to hurt her and he was having a hard time forming the next word, "Hermione I…"

Hermione's hand let go of his shirt and she took a step back shaking her head somberly. "No…you don't."

"Please-"

"Hermione!"

Draco stood straight up and looked over her shoulder to see Terrence standing at the doorway holding a cup of coffee. He knew she would go. He wasn't capable of loving even all the signs pointed to love when it came to her. He had never felt these feelings before. He didn't know how to have a real relationship. How could he with a role model as his father. He cursed his father for making him incapable of giving the girl of his dreams the one thing she wanted, the one thing she needed.

"Hermione, I made you some coffee, and Molly is making breakfast," Terrence called out to her again.

Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes and swallowed hard before turning to her boyfriend and leaving Draco standing there alone. She plastered on the best pretence smile she could muster and kissed Terrence on the cheek and whispering good morning. And then the two disappeared into the kitchen together. Draco breathed in and went back to the tire swing to reflect on what a complete ass he had just been.

**XXX**

_So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures  
And over analyze your words  
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard  
It's taking everything in me  
Just to forget your sweater so far_

_I can honestly say  
That I never, ever, ever felt this way  
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin  
These are the parts of your body  
That cause my comatose to begin_

All Hail the Heartbreaker- The Spill Canvas

**XXX**

Harry woke up and stretched his arm out to feel the comforting skin of his girlfriend when he found out the other half of the bed was empty. He propped himself up on his elbows. It was barely eight o'clock. Ginny was usually a late sleeper. He frowned and pulled himself out of bed. He pulled on a pair of green and blue plaid pajama pants and headed down to the kitchen to see everyone was present. He stopped glancing around the room. Hermione and Terrence were drinking coffee and reading over the Daily Prophet. Hermione every once and awhile had to stop and explain a few things about the ministry and wizarding current events. Lavender was chatting with Molly and Arthur as she helped preparing their breakfast. Molly and Arthur were completely glowing at their daughter-in-law and the thought of them welcoming in another grandchild. Pansy was setting the table with the help of Theodore, talking animatedly about the upcoming Spring fashion show. Theodore seemed to be bored with her on goings, but he was a good listener...or at least he pretended to be. Blaise and Ginny were sitting together looking at a Quidditch catalog. Harry instantly felt his fist clench and unclench. Ginny had left her bed side early to spend time with Blaise. The thought made the boy-who-lived swell with anger, but it was quickly forgotten as Draco came through the side door a heart-trodden expression on his face. He saw his eyes glance over to Hermione and Terrence, and also saw how Hermione looked at Draco...tensed...sniffed once, and then returned to the Daily Prophet.

"Draco?" Harry said loudly catching the attention of Ginny who beamed at him... though didn't get up and kiss him good morning.

Draco didn't say anything but he had his attention.

"Can I speak with you?" Harry asked beckoning for the blonde to come with him into the living room away from the chatter. Draco followed and took a seat on the couch, sinking into it. Harry followed suit seating across from his former school nemesis. "Did you talk to her?" Draco nodded. "Why is she still with him?"

"She's better off with him," Draco said convincing himself that it was true.

"You don't believe that," Harry said in disbelief.

"But I do...," Draco said harshly. He glared at the other boy but then his features softened and he shook his head looking away. "I could have made things right this morning. The opportunity was right there...she was right there. And I screwed it up just like all the other times."

"So make it right."

"No, I can't. I can't love her like Terrence does. I can't want to be with her as much as he does. I can't express my emotions like he does. She deserves him," He said softly knowing it was true.

"That's a bunch of bullshit and you know it. Terrence doesn't love her. Terrence doesn't respect her. He cheated on her during her birthday, or did you forget? She doesn't feel for him what she feels for you, Draco. Why can't you get that through your thick skull?!" Harry whispered harshly to him.

"Harry, as much as I appreciate you giving me relationship advice I'd rather you not stick this more in my face than it already is. It kills me seeing her with him. But I can't do anything about it," Draco replied just as harshly.

"You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and grow a pair of balls, Draco. Tell her how you really feel," Harry said and then grew quiet.

"Is that it?" Draco asked knowing Harry was right. But it was a lot harder than it appeared to be.

Harry rested his head back and sighed. There was one more thing he had to figure out. He cleared his throat and looked at Draco, "Does Blaise love Ginny?"

Silence engulfed the living room. The chatter from inside the kitchen could be heard along with Blaise's and Ginny's laughter.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Draco said, his face blank not knowing what to say or how Harry had found out.

"I heard you two talking last night, so you don't have to hide anything," Harry said calmly, too calmly for Draco's liking.

"Why aren't you upset?" He asked perplexed.

"I haven't figured that out yet. I just...seeing them together make me so angry and at the same time I have never seen Ginny that happy before. Not even when we first started going out."

Draco remained silent as he watched Harry deal with the emotions, each one playing out across his face. He had no idea what to say to him.

"I want her to be happy, Draco. Her happiness is my number one priority. I love her, I love her so much that if her being with Blaise makes her happier than what she is now with me...I think I can let it be," Harry said looking back up at Draco. "What do I do?"

"I'm sorry that you had to find out like that, Harry. It wasn't either of our intention for you to overhear like that," Draco replied ignoring his question. How could he give Harry relationship advice when he couldn't manage his own?

"I know you didn't. I don't feel negatively towards you Draco. Maybe a little bit towards Blaise since he stole Ginny's heart from me, but that's to be expected right?" Harry looked desperately towards him and Draco smiled slightly nodding.

"It most definitely is."

"BREAKFAST!"

**XXX**

**I know it is shorter than the other, but don't worry. I am really busy at this point into the school year and work so I'll dish out what I can and when I can. Reviews are love and most definitely appreciated. **

**Thanks,  
Chelsea**


	3. It's Too Late

Thank you all for you reviews

**Thank you all for you reviews. It always makes my day when I get home and see that people are enjoying my story.**

_Flash Back_

"_**I was sick of restrictions sick of the boundaries about to close the door  
Such a lack of conviction no real connection what should I settle for"**_

"_You may now kiss the bride," The priest shouted out merrily._

_Hermione clapped and watched as Ron took his bride, Lavender Weasley into a loving embrace and then mold his lips with hers. Hermione brushed the tears that had fallen down her cheeks quickly as she watched the new happily in love couple walk back up the aisle. Weddings always got to her. She was a sap when it came to romance, and only hoped that her day would come. Sure many people were shocked that her and Ron had not ended up together. But it only to ok the two a month of dating before the realized they had it all wrong. They loved each other but not in the way that they wanted to, the way everyone wanted them to, the way they thought they had. It was a mutual break up and even though many people didn't believe her, she was happy Ron found someone worthy of spending the rest of his life with…yes, even if that one person was not her. She would just have to wait until Mr. Right came tumbling along._

"_Hermione!"_

_Hermione was seated at the single's table at the wedding reception chatting with Pansy Parkinson. They had both been bride's maids while Ginny was the maid of honor. She laughed lightly and turned her head in the direction in which her name was being called out. It was Draco Malfoy looking terribly handsome in a white tux with a black button up shirt, tie and shoes. Hermione always found the man to be awfully attractive ever since she first saw him at Hogwarts. It was a shame that he was such a prat back then she would have gotten to know him better sooner. But now that she did know how he truly was she didn't have much to complain about. She pitied him for his upbringing until he told her not to. She felt bad for judging him based on his parent's beliefs and not his own. He had told her not to worry about the past, and to merely be thankful that they were able to get over their childish bickering. She was glad to. He smiled as he approached her and rested a hand on the back of her char. She noted that he nodded a 'hello' to Pansy and then turned his direction back to her._

"_How's the singles table treating you, dear?" He asked humor in his eyes as he leaned closer to her._

_Hermione was thankful that they had forgiven each other for their childhood grievances because if they hadn't she would have been extremely offended by his statement. "Quite fine actually. Pansy, hear has been keeping me company…" She turned to her raven haired friend to find her seat was empty. Frowning she turned back to Draco, "Well she was here." She shrugged and smiled looking up at the blonde. "To what do I have to offer for your presence?"_

"_It's simple…a dance," Draco replied leaning back and extending his hand for her to take hold of which she did without hesitation. _

_As they spun together on the dance floor Hermione couldn't help but ask, "So what happened to your date, Draco?" She blushed for a reason unknown to her own self as his grey eyes looked down at her._

"_She bored me," he stated simply, "So I sought out a more entertaining person to take herplace."_

"_I though this was just a dace," She asked back smirking slightly._

"_Well now you know," and then he dipped causing a gasp and then squeals of giggles to escape Hermione's parted lips._

_They danced quite a bit more until Hermione's feet felt like jello. Draco led her to the balcony of the receptions area grabbing a bottle of champagne and two flutes along the way. They sat and drank for awhile wondering what was going on inside yet not wondering enough to actually get up and leave their positions. Within an hour of reminiscing about Hogawarts and laughing over the red bride's maid dress Hermione was forced intoshe managed to cuddle up next to Draco, Draco wrapping his arms around her and stroking her hair. Half of the bottle of champagne was gone and forgotten._

"_Do you ever think about marriage, Draco?" Hermione asked him after a moment of silence thinking back to when Ron and Lavender were exchanging their vows. Their love for each other was so surreal._

"_From time to time…but I don't know if I'd be cut out for it."_

"_Yeah, that would mean you'd actually have to care for someone."_

"_Hey!"_

"_Name me one time you truly care for one of your dates," she challenged._

"_Well there is you," He answered honestly with and smiled as he rested his chin on the top of her head._

"_That doesn't count because this isn't a real date, and even if you asked me out on a real date I'd say no."_

"_You would?"_

"_You don't have a good reputation when it comes to relationships."_

"_Why do I need that kind of reputation when I have quite a notable one in the bedroom?"_

"_Yeah, I heard you don't put out," she teased._

"_Alright…enough about me, please, since you obviously have no idea what you are talking about," Draco said clasping her mouth with the palm of his hand._

"_**But you caught my attention you built on the tension and you left me wanting more  
Now I don't know what to do with myself do with myself I don't want nobody else"**_

_A few minutes passed as the two sat in silence. It was not an awkward silence, but rather a comforting one as they both took comfort in the moment. Suddenly Hermione leaned away from Draco and looked up at him questioningly. He glanced back at her his brow furrowed waiting for her to tell him whatever was on her mind. _

_Finally, "Do you think that someday someone would want to marry me?" Hermione asked softly true concern breaking out in her voice and her features._

_Draco laughed, but then realized she was being serious. "Yes."_

"_Why?" Hermione asked not believing him. She had always had great self esteem, but she found it hard that somebody could love her enough to want to marry her. What was so special about her?_

_Draco looked at her intently curious as to why all of a sudden she was doubting herself. She was beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, generous, loyal, and giving. A gust of a wind blew in between them blowing Hermione's hair all over the place. Before she could move it out of her face Draco leaned over and tucked her soft ringlets behind her ears. He felt a spark come to life inside of him when he touched her cheek. _

"_Why, Draco?" She asked closing her eyes at his touch feeling slightly woozy unsure of the reason why; whether it had to do with the alcohol or the electricity that ran through her veins at his touch. Why had she not realized it before?_

"_Why what?" He barely whispered too busy taking in every freckle on her face, every curl of her eyelashes, and every tint of her eyes._

"_Why would someone want to marry me?" She place her hand on his that was still touching her cheek. It got his attention and she suddenly wondered if he felt the fire burning inside of him too. _

"_Why wouldn't someone want to?" he said as if he was frozen in the position. _

_Hermione bit her lip. She wanted actual reasons, but at that point in time she was satisfied with the simplicity of his. And in the moment were their faces were so close to each other's, their knees slightly touching, and their hands connected all she could think about was one thing. _

"_Hermione?"_

_She was unsure if he actually spoke or not since the voice came out so softly. "Yes?"_

"_Can I kiss you?" His eyes fell from her eyes to her lips that parted immediately at the thought._

"_Can I kiss you?" She asked back causing his eyes to rise back to hers. He smiled crookedly and tilted his other hand cupping the other side of her cheek._

"_Are you repeating my question or are you asking me if you can kiss me?"_

"_Can you stop talking you insufferable prick," She said closing her eyes and shaking her head in annoyance. Draco took that as an invitation and pressed his lips to hers for the first time. The shock he had felt prior was nothing like the feeling inside of him at this instant. He raised his hands his fingers combing through her hair and then resting at the back of her head. Her hands went to the back of her neck. The kiss was soft as they both tested the waters and then pulled back. Hermione bit her lip unsure if he regretted it._

"_Are you sure we should be doing this?" She asked timidly._

"_Give me one reason why not," he said but kissed her lips again before she could give him one. This time he kissed her harder nipping her bottom lip and sighed as she parted her lips allowing his tongue to massage hers. _

_**"I let you in I let you in and you infected me  
Can't get enough of you  
Can't get enough of you"**_

_They sat outside for what felt like hours exploring each others mouths forgetting that there was a party inside. Draco had Hermione lying on her back on the bench with him uncomfortably on top of her. He didn't mind though. For some reason kissing Hermione was like nothing he ever imagined. He kissed many women, so why should Hermione's touch, kiss, embrace, and affection be any different then the others? But it was in the best way possible. He felt whole. He felt like he belonged in her arms and she in his. Never before this night did he think of her this way before. He always found her beautiful and wise beyond her years. But she had been a friend. A foe turned friend. And he valued her friendship just as much as he valued Blaise's and Pansy's which was saying a lot. Never in a million years did he think he would possibly ruin his friendship to have something more with the beautiful brunette, but here he was making out with her. And it most likely would end before it even began because everyone knew that Draco couldn't stay with the same girl for too long. But for some reason Hermione was different._

_"Draco," Hermione whimpered as his hands skimmed up her side grazing the side of her breasts. Realizing what he just did he pulled away even though he wanted to do no such thing._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Don't apologize..." She opened her eyes and when he glanced into them he realized they were full of lust... and it was all for him. He knew he shouldn't have. He knew he had already taken things way too far for their friendship. And what would happen if Harry and Ron found out? At that thought his head shot up and glanced over at the balcony doors. If they were going to continue this they needed to get out of here. But they weren't going to. They couldn't. He felt her hands on his face and he looked down at her. "Don't stop either," she whispered to him._

_"We shouldn't," he tried to reason._

_"Draco, since when did you think rationally?" She asked and as he opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head. "Please don't. I want this... don't you?"_

_"I don't want to ruin what we have," Draco said honestly kissing her cheek and then the corner of her lips._

_"We aren't going to," She replied smiling, "Instead we are going to strengthen it."_

_**"Breathed you in I breathed you in and now I'm in too deep**__  
__**Don't think I'm pulling through  
Don't think I'm pulling through."**_

_Five minutes later the couple was outside of Draco's flat and he was fumbling with the keys. Hermione was tapping her foot aroused at everything and anything that was around her. She wanted Draco and she had no idea why he was stalling. For a slight second she felt insecure. Why did he not want this? Was it because he really didn't want to ruin their newly formed friendship? She bit her lip and knew that they were risking a lot, but just think of how much they'd be gaining. She liked Draco a lot. He was handsome, funny as hell, and he had a way of looking at her as if she was the only thing he saw. Well at least he did tonight. He started talking questioning what they were doing again and she stomped her foot loud in frustration._

_"Damnit, Draco." She took his hand and apparated to her own flat right in front of her bed seeing as how she had no idea what Draco's bedroom looked like. Before he could even protest she pushed him down on her bed and straddled him, kissing him passionately on the lips. "I want you...you want me. That's all the bloody matters right now."_

_Draco felt like a pussy at that second. Since when did he ever decline a sex offer and here Hermione was practically screaming 'FUCK ME!' and he was just going to ignore it and blame it on too much alcohol consumption. He just hoped she didn't regret it in the morning. He knew he wouldn't unless things went awry. Instead of speaking his feelings however he took hold of her waist and flipped her around so she was on her back and kissed her roughly his hands wasting no time as they snaked up the front of her shirt._

_End Flashback_

**XXX**

_"slow down girl your not going anywhere  
just wait around and see  
maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead  
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything  
just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed  
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need_ "

Vulnerable -Secondhand Serenade

**XXX**

Hermione sat in the Weasley twins' old room, the one that she had been sharing with Terrence and Pansy for the holidays. She was lethargically packing up her suitcase when she spaced out glancing out the window. Her morning had proved to be an emotional one from the very beginning. She had woken up crying because she felt ashamed. She felt ashamed for not being truthful to her own feelings. She felt ashamed for stringing along Terrence when she knew that her feelings for him were not true. She felt ashamed because even though it was a game last night, she couldn't help but feel like she had cheated on Terrence when she kissed Draco three times. She should have sopped. She shouldn't have even agreed to play the game. She should have gone up to bed and make out with her boyfriend. The same boyfriend whom she woke up next to as she cried over herself and her love for another man. She had to see him because she knew Draco would be hurting. She knew that his feelings were true towards her maybe even truer than Terrence's. She would go to him to give him a chance to tell her how he felt. She would give him a chance to tell her what she needed to hear in order for her to be with him. She wanted to be with him. She loved him. But she knew that nothing had changed. She knew that he was still the same person he was six months ago.

She dried her eyes though and went to him. He was swinging on the tire swing. She loved him and she wanted to break down right there because she could feel her heart race as it always did whenever she was around him. She apologized and by the look in his eyes she knew what he felt yet he was still incapable of saying it out loud. She couldn't wait forever for the man that she loved could she? To her friends who looked down on her for giving up on Draco did not know how frustrating it was to know that the man she loved loved her back and yet did nothing about it. He didn't want her with Terrence. That's what he had told her. She knew this though. Everyone knew this except Terrence. He was oblivious to everything. He told her that she didn't want to be with him. And yet again she knew this. He was telling her things she already knew. And it was aggravating her to no end.

Maybe it was their end. Maybe it really did end before it even began.

Maybe Draco was right that night of Lavender and Ron's wedding. Maybe they shouldn't have taken things so far. At the time though it seemed right.

Maybe she indeed had too much to drink. Maybe Draco's rational way of thinking was the right one.

Maybe if they hadn't acted so foolish their friendship could have been the way it used to be instead of how it is now; hanging by a thread.

But it was easier said than done. The chemistry between them that night took them both by surprised. How do you not realize chemistry like that between two people who were always around each other? It was as if that night destiny took them by surprise. But that was a ridiculous notion considering it was not destiny or fate that pulled them together since they were no longer together and most likely never going to be. As much as Hermione hoped that they shared more that night then lust she could not prove herself correct. And after one night of bliss how could they stop it there. They hadn't told anybody about their fling since they were never official. The others were able to put two and two together considering the fact that they were never around always off doing something by themselves "together", laughing at inside jokes, touching all the time, smiling, lingering cheek kisses, and how they declined every date offer saying that they'd go stag "together". Ron and Harry were a bit skeptical but realized that Hermione was happy with him, and then soon it became second nature to see them be affectionate towards each other. And soon after that Draco and Hermione went public with their relationship even though it was an unofficial one. And to this day Hermione had no idea why they had never been official. She was positive if they had been they'd still be together. But that was Draco's issue. Draco was the one afraid of commitment even though he wasn't with another girl the entire time they kept the charade going.

Hermione felt a tear fall as she zipped up her overnight bag. She hated crying over lost causes. Draco Malfoy was a lost cause no matter how many people told her to not give up.

But she wanted marriage one day. And while she was not rushing things, how would she get marriage from the one man she loved when he could even make things official?

"Are you ready, babe?"

Hermione looked up to see Terrence at the door. She merely nodded and placed her bag in her pocket after she shrunk it with her wand. She did the same to Terrence's and he smiled in gratitude. "Let's tell everyone goodbye."

Everyone was sitting in the living room going through their presents and talking merrily. She really did love have a huge group of friends whom she loved and whom loved her back. She told each one goodbye with a kiss, hug, and promise that they'd get together soon. She asked Harry where Draco was and he motioned towards the kitchen. She smiled back at Terrence who was talking to Theodore who looked bored out of his mind. "I'll be one minute, hun."

"Okay and I want to apparate back because my arse is still bruised from flooing over last night," Terrence noted and took a seat on the couch.

"That's fine," she said and then headed into the kitchen seeing Draco read over the same prophet that she and Terrence had been reading earlier. "I'm leaving."

Draco sat there in silence continuing to read or at least pretending to read.

"Draco, are you really going to do this?" Hermione whispered pleadingly as she took a step closer to him.

He said nothing.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out between us," She started and took a seat next to him, "I wanted them to...honestly I did."

That made his head turn. He stared at her for a few seconds taking in her appearance. She was heavenly. "Do you love him?"

Hermione parted her lips not expecting him to ask such a question. She didn't want to lie to him. "I could."

"I could love you, you know," he said turning towards her.

Hermione sighed and shook her head. "How?"

"Give me another chance, please," He begged scooting closer to her and cupping her cheeks in his palms the way he did when he first kissed her that night.

"I have to go," She whispered but not really wanting to. She wanted to sit there forever in his arms. But she knew what was going to happen if she gave him another chance. It would end terribly and their friendship would be lost even more than it was now.

"No you don't."

"Draco," She leaned on his right hand and closed her eyes marveling in the feeling of his touch, "You were right that night. We should have never given into each other. We should have remained friends and kept it that way. You were right. I am so sorry I forced you to."

"You didn't force me into anything," He stated frustrated and taking his hands off of her cheek. "Hermione that was almost two years ago and you are telling me that you regret it?"

"Yes, two years ago! Meaning a year and a half I was with you yet you weren't with me!"

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked not understanding a word she was talking about.

"You say you can love me, but how would that ever happen when you can't even stay in a committed relationship let alone start one?!"

"What the hell, Granger? I didn't cheat on you. I haven't had sex with anyone but you in the past 2 years including these past six months. And you have probably been off screwing Terrence. If anyone is more committed it is me!" Draco got up from his chair and stared down at her. He didn't know if she and Terrence had had sex or not. He was making assumptions hoping that she would correct them and he could rest in peace knowing that she didn't.

"That is not the point, Draco Malfoy. If you were so committed why didn't you ever make it known?! When you introduced me to people you introduced me to them as your friend...your FRIEND, Draco!" She gushed knowing that the others including Terrence could hear her. "I thought we were more than that...I cared for you in so many ways, so much more than a friend, and to hear that I was just some friend with benefits broke by fucking heart!" She was crying now, sobbing more like it. This was the first time they had ever talked about what exactly went wrong. He just figured for the most part, and he was right. And he had never felt so crushed by his own actions.

He took a step closer to her and reached out for her arm, "Mione I didn't mean..."

"You didn't mean what? Were you too embarrassed, too ashamed to have people know that we were together?"

"No, Mione...I"

"Well I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed and ashamed to think that I had fallen for you, that I would give up anything for you, that I would die for you, that I _loved_ you when all you saw me as a friend with benefits!" She withdrew her arm and breathed deeply in and out. Her sobs ceasing but not her tears.

"You love me?" Draco asked perplexed at how easily it had rolled off her tongue and how hard it was for him.

"Loved, Draco. I loved you," she insisted though she couldn't fool herself.

"Hermione, I..." he wanted to desperately tell her how he felt before it was too late even though many people who probably claim that in this point of time it already was too late. "I..."

"Just stop. It doesn't matter now." And with that she kissed him lightly on the cheek and whispered good bye before she walked back into the living room, smiled falsely, grabbed Terrence's hand and apparated back to her flat.

Minutes later Draco, feeling defeated and heartbroken walked out into the living room to see everyone had pity written all over their face. Pity for him. "I love her...I love her," He whispered to the room and then apparated to his own apartment.

**XXX**

**Song during the Flashback was called 'Contagious' by Trapt.**

**Alright. More flashback to come. And don't worry. I am going to elaborate on the other ships too. Love you all. Read and review please!!**

**Thanks,**

**Chelsea**


End file.
